|
How would describe your own writing process? I feel it's best to show, not tell. INTERVIEW BY UNNAMED JOURNALIST REGARDING "THE AFTER LIFE" You do know there's a darkly humorous memoir called "The Afterlife" by acclaimed author Donald Antrim that also deals with alcoholism, inner turmoil, and the death of an unstable parent, don't you? How does it feel to be yet another YA plagiarist? Wait— hold on a sec. I just found out about that book! That's the God's honest truth. It's a freakish coincidence and nothing more. Although... Donald Antrim's book does sound pretty interesting. Maybe I should read it. But anyway, my book is called The After Life. Two words. Clever, eh? And it's pure fiction. Also, I did not have sex with that woman. What woman? What? You just said: I did not have sex with that woman. No, I didn't. You said it. You said it first. Did not. Did too. Did not. You're a compulsive liar, aren't you? Well, it depends on what your definition of "aren't" is. Also— Why are you picking your nose? I'm scratching it. Okay, fine. I'm picking it. I didn't know you were looking. Do you consider yourself a responsible YA novelist, Mr. Ehrenhaft? If it gets me off the hook for picking my nose in front of you, can I say yes? FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) I was very disappointed to hear you were fired from a cheese shop. How did this happen? I ate too much cheese. ....................................... YA? That's like Harry Potter, right? Yes and no. YA can also stand for "Your Armpits!" Or "Yoga Aficionado!" Or "Yes And (No)." ....................................... Why haven't you written the next Harry Potter? That's a great question, and I'm working on it. Can I ask you a favor, though? I need to borrow a little money to cover some bills; it's nothing to worry about. I'll pay you back soon, I promise. I just really need to focus on my writing right now. ....................................... Why is our refrigerator empty? I had some friends over while you and Dad were out. I swear I didn't know they were raiding the fridge. One of the girls (you remember Tracy, right?) brought over her dog, Ripper, so I took him on a walk. That's probably when everyone snacked. I had to take Ripper out, Mom. He's sort of big and ill behaved. I was gone a pretty long time. ....................................... Why does our bed smell like dog pee? That's not fair. How could I possibly know why your bed smells the way it does? I don't sleep in it. That's Zen type stuff, like "what's-the-sound-of-one-hand-clapping." Maybe you shouldn't be directing those kinds of questions at me. Maybe you should be directing them at yourself. Have you ever considered that? Huh? That's my question to you. ....................................... If YOU have questions, please email me |